In January, I wrote a post attempting to define that things that I am (or am NOT) looking for in a partner. I've always felt that having a "list" is a dangerous thing to do, as it can limit the possible people that you meet. Well, I had dinner with a good friend the other night, and of course we talked about the ending of my relationship with Corey. She agreed that he was a nice, funny guy, but she also mentioned that she was never really sure about the two of us together. I explained about how I try to keep an open mind, because you just never know who you might meet. Her reply was basically saying that wouldn't there be a better possibility of that "spark" if there were at least some common or shared interests? She thinks it's ok to have a few other characteristics to look for that could potentially weed out the guys that I likely will not connect with. And after doing a lot of thinking about it, I have to say she's right.
So, the list is simple. But these are the few things (beyond the traditional values) that I think a potential partner needs to have. I'm going to try to stick to these when viewing possible dates, and see if I have a better success rate in doing so.
An active lifestyle. We don't have to always exercise together, but it would be nice to have that option. I need to be with someone who understands that on certain days, at certain times, I'm going to be doing some kind of physical activity.
Similar taste in music. This may sound silly, but I have recently learned how important it is. I really dig music, and am very opinionated on what constitutes good music. I love going to shows, and I love just sitting around listening to music. I want to be with someone who can talk about, and listen to, the same things that I like.
Comfortable in social settings. I wasn't always the outgoing, confident person that I am today. It was a long road getting here, but I do really enjoy meeting people in a variety of settings. I thought I was more open about this, but it turns out that I really do need someone who can navigate a social scene easily as well. I'm not talking about uppity, elitist events. Just average get togethers with a variety of people, where I don't feel like I'm having to play social referee.
Style. One could argue that I'm not the best at this myself. I'm ok with that. I know my limitations when it comes to dressing myself and decorating, so I enlist the help of people I trust. But I know what I do, and do not, like. And while I might not always follow my mom's rule about putting your best foot forward at all times, I would like to be with someone who at least tries.
Again, these are not characteristics that take the place of more important traits, like family values, honesty, integrity, etc. But more of a profile of someone I am likely to be more compatible with. With all that said, I'm taking a jump back into the dating pool. Match and OKCupid are officially off the list for me. Too many past boyfriends are on there, and not enough new inventory for me to consider. So....even though I've had an unsuccessful history with eharmony, I'm going to give it a try for one month. In the past, most of my matches have been short, not so cute, and have horrible names (see this post regarding names.) I am just going to be patient, and see what comes to my inbox each day. I know some days might be worse than others, but who knows....I might be pleasantly surprised.
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