I knew that I would not be hearing from him much at all this week, but he did send a short "hope you're having a good week" text yesterday, and he actually called at lunchtime today just to say hi. It has been a rough week for him, and I appreciate him reaching out to me. His son leaves on Sunday, so I'm not expecting to see him until early next week.
The breakthrough for me was when I realized that this whole situation is making me feel vulnerable, and because of that, I am acting insecure. I have worked too damn hard these past 8 or so years to be acting that way, so I'm nipping it in the bud right now. I'm going to stay busy and occupied with other things, and keep reminding myself that it takes time to get to know someone before making quick decisions about relationships. At any given time, either myself or Oliver can decide that something about the other just isn't going to work. So I'm not letting a strong attraction to him override the "getting to know you" stage.
He did say some things in a recent conversation that I really respected though. He confirmed that he likes me, thinks I'm a lot of fun to be around, and is obviously very attracted to me (his words, not mine.) He said what is most important right now though is that he is with me for the right reasons, not just because I make him feel good during this rough time. He said that he has a history of rushing into relationships and wants to get it right the next time. I think it's a good thing that he is acknowledging that and being honest about it. We're making baby steps, and I like that we can communicate so easily with each other, without it getting too serious.
So- I've got a few fun things on tap for this weekend, but I'm definitely looking forward to seeing Oliver again soon. Until then, I will be volunteering (and fostering a dog at night- a sweet boxer mix named Pippi), going on a 70 mile ride with some new friends, seeing my adorable niece, and getting together with some girlfriends for what will surely be a fabulous southern meal thanks to our latest Cookbook Club selection, Screen Doors and Sweet Tea.
I'll leave you with another quote I saw recently. I think it sums up perfectly why I'm willing to keep putting myself out there. I truly believe that one day, something good will come my way.
"Love comes to those who still hope after disappointment,
who still believe after betrayal,
and who still love after they've been hurt. "