The Breakover

That is the term I'm using for what will hopefully be the shortest "getting over a break-up" period ever.  I spoke with one of my best friends last night and told her that I was giving myself three days.  After Saturday night- there will be no more crying.  She said it's ok if I do a little after that, but definitely no more than a week.  I've teared up a few times today, but I'm surviving.

Last night was actually the best night's sleep I've had in these past 5 days.  There was nothing for me to worry about.  What's done is done and I'm just not going to lose any more sleep over it.  There is still a lot that I don't understand about what happened this past week.  I will probably never understand it all, and I don't know that it would really help even if I did.  The bottom line is this- Frans could not give me what he knew I wanted- which is eventually a committed (as in the marriage kind) relationship.  His exact words were "I'm giving you the most I can ever give you, and I know it's eventually not going to be enough."  I knew from day one that this could very easily happen given how quickly he jumped into a relationship.  I took that risk, so I can't entirely blame him.  It's sad that it took nine months to figure out, but I wouldn't trade that time for anything.  I have a lot of great memories from the time we spent together.

If this had happened a year ago, I think I would be a total wreck right now.  But the one thing I have learned the most from this relationship is how to maintain my own life while spending it with someone else.  I don't feel like my whole world has been ripped out from under me because Frans was not my whole world.  My friends are still here, I have my regular volunteer shift this weekend, a triathlon to kick some butt in.....my life will go on exactly as before.  Sure- I'm going to miss his companionship.  And I'm certainly going to miss the great sex life!  But I know there is someone out there who will appreciate what I have to offer.

 I don't really feel up to putting myself out there just yet.  Work will keep me on the road for the next few weeks, and that's probably a good thing.  I need a little time to heal, and I know it wouldn't be fair to someone else to go out with them just to help me move on.  I do look forward to dating though and whatever adventures might come my way!  For those of you who may have become bored by some of my mundane blog stories....just stick around.  I'm sure there will be good ones to come!