The RIGHT way to text a girl

Exhibit A:
Wanted to say thanks for a great dinner and "dessert".
Headed to the ranch with the boys for a campfire and marshmallow roasting.
Hopefully we'll see a few stars out tonight.
Wish you were here.


He wasn't implying THAT kind-of dessert- it was just a funny reference to a joke he made last night.  But it was a sweet message and let me know he's thinking of me.  Again, butterflies in my stomach......

Smitten

So, this past Wed night "Frans" and I went for a stroll around South Congress and ended up at Boticelli's for drinks/dinner on the back patio.  The patio is such a cool place and they almost always have live music too.  We totally lucked out that a guy with an acoustic guitar and am amazing voice was playing that night.  Very romantic.  After a great meal and a couple of glasses of wine, he drove me home and (finally) got a ridiculously hot goodnight kiss. *sigh*  There's nothing like sitting through a whole dinner thinking about nothing else but wanting to know if he's a good kisser or not.  I really liked my answer.

Fast forward to Saturday night.... he actually switched nights that he had his kids so that he could make date night work. He is the first guy I have dated with kids and the whole situation is still foreign to me.  I'm lucky that he has a decent enough relationship with his ex that they can both be flexible with scheduling.  After several eventful days with family, we both thought a quiet night in would be nice.  I offered to cook dinner and we decided on hanging out at his place.  I didn't want to go overboard by making a super fancy meal, so I decided on spiced pork tenderloin, mashed sweet potatoes and a salad.  All of it was done ahead of time and just had to be thrown in the oven.  Easy and healthy!

I knew he lived in a nice neighborhood, but seriously.  His house is insane (and oh so cool- a little Spanish hacienda feel!)   He just said that he wanted a place that his boys looked forward to going to and that after a rough break-up, his mom encouraged him to take care of himself.  He works hard, so why not?!  He gave me a quick tour that ended in the wine room where he grabbed a bottle to go with the cheese plate he had put together.  Smart boy knowing that cheese is the way to my heart!

We finished dinner and relaxed on his couch facing a fireplace full of candles. We chatted some more, but really- all I wanted to do was kiss him again. And I did......for a long, long time. He was totally respectful and didn't cross any lines though which made it really nice!  I don't want to rush things with him and it was nice to just enjoy some innocent making out.

I obviously like this guy, for reasons beyond his hot body and cool house.  I feel comfortable being myself around him and there's that intangible little flutter thing that happens whenever I see him.  I'm excited to see what this could turn into, but also feel very strongly that I need to keep seeing other people, at least for awhile longer. He has not dated at all since he separated from his ex and the last thing I want is to be the rebound girl! Regardless, I'm just going to enjoy it for now!

Happy Thanksgiving

Macy's Parade, Nana's Pumpkin Bread, football, football, nap, football, and more food than is necessary for dinner.  That's what Thanskgiving is in my family.  This year, I am also thankful for my brand-new, cute as a button niece!!!  Hope everyone is enjoying Thanksgiving in their own special way.

I'm back

Apologies to my (3) loyal readers for not posting in such a long time.  I spent 6 days in DC and didn't fire up the computer once while I was gone.  I had only been to DC once many, many years ago and really enjoyed the city this time around!!  Even though I was there for work, we had just enough time to get in some sight-seeing.  I even took the Metro by myself and toured the Eastern Market.  Lots of fun, lots of cute boys, LOTS of good food!  If you ever have the chance to visit, I highly recommend it.

Unfortunately while I was gone, my sweet grandfather passed away.  It was expected, but the finality of it is a little harder than I thought.  My brother wrote a loving tribute to him and my family is doing our best to remember his great spirit.  I'm especially thankful for Thanksgiving this year and the time I will get to spend with my family.

I had a sudden urge to bake something last night (that's usually my way of handling stress) so I started a Peanut Butter Crunch Cake.  It seriously is a 3-step process and hopefully I can finish it up tonight.  Baking is one of my favorite things to do and I don't often have time to take on recipes this labor intensive.  Hopefully the guys at the office will enjoy the finished product.

Not much going happening on the boy front right now.  Frans continues to stay in touch and I'll hopefully see him next weekend.  There are a few more prospects in the pipeline, but I probably won't do much with them until after the holidays.  In the meantime I'll try to share a few more of my favorite strategies for surviving the dating world!

c'est si bon

Hans and Frans: Update

Hans is long gone, but I did have a second date with Frans recently and (still) really like him.  We met at The Grove and he was as cute as I remembered.  He was also very quick to compliment me and tell me how nice I looked (thank you Nordstrom's half-yearly sale and the great top I happened to find!)  We didn't have to wait long for a table and had a great time just catching up on each other's week.  He really has the greatest smile and he's just a lot of fun to talk to.  About half way through dinner- and in the middle of a conversation about food- he asked when I would be back from DC and said he'd love to take me out for a good Italian dinner.  Yes, please!  Two hours later, we called it a night.  Unfortunately I had parked right in front of the patio and when he walked me to my car, we had the choice of putting on a show for the people sitting there, or just having a short and sweet good night kiss.  He went for the latter, and let me just say that I'm very much looking forward to him picking me up for our next date!!!!

He knew that I would be spending the weekend with my sister, but he did send a sweet text message Saturday night saying what a great time he had and that he hoped we were having fun!  Nice to know he was thinking about me, and that was definitely an appropriate time to send a text!

I will be in DC until Sunday, so I'm not sure how many entertaining stories I will have to tell this week.  You never know, though.  There might be a Hot Men in DC post in the near future!!!

Seriously?! (take 2)

Hmm...it's Saturday.   Must be time for another text from the dude who apparently doesn't get it.  I never responded to the one he sent last Saturday night.  At least this time he spelled my name right!

SBITC,
How's it going
Plans tonight?
M :)

Yes.  That is a smiley face.  In a text from a 40 yr old man-  who has yet to actually call and have a conversation with me.  What do I have to say to get my point across without being rude?

The good news is that there was a second date with Frans....stayed tuned for details!

Happy Friday the 13th to me!!!

Two and a half years ago, I took a big leap of faith and left teaching to pursue a position in the corporate world.  I figured that life had given me a second chance to take a few risks and I went for it.  I've been working my tail off ever since and was unexpectedly rewarded today for my efforts!  While the monetary bonus was (very) nice, hearing my boss tell me that he was proud of my work was a really, really big boost!  He's not easy to please and it made me feel really good to know that maybe I am doing some things right.  I know I have much to learn, and many goals to accomplish, but it's nice to know I'm on the right track.

So take that, crappy week!!!  Things just got a little better.  :)

Vanilla

That's about the best way to describe my date last night.  Not Mexican Vanilla, not Homemade Vanilla, not even Vanilla Bean.  Just Plain Vanilla (and definitely no crushings on top)!   We met for coffee around 7, and 2 hours later, I was hungry and a little bored.   I would have suggested going next door for some food and a margarita, but I really didn't want to commit any more time to it.  My couch and pajamas were sounding better each minute that ticked by.  Conversation was steady, but he didn't really have anything all that interesting to say.  He was a nice guy, not bad looking- but there just wasn't much else going on.

Maybe it was just the funky mood I was in and I didn't give him much of a chance.  I don't really know if I would go out with him again if he asks.  He seemed like a totally normal, down to earth kind-of guy- and those are hard to come by!  It wasn't that I had a terrible time, it just was, well- Vanilla.  And I'm more of a Cookies and Cream girl (with chocolate sauce on top).

When life gives you lemons.....

I knew it was too good to be true- that life was going all too smoothly!  I became a first-time aunt, had a short break in my hectic travel schedule, went on several good dates and even lost a few pounds....then bam- life just punched me in the gut!!!!  An unfortunate event in my family has caused some heartache and sadness- but I guess life would be dull if we didn't have these moments, right?  We're a tight unit and I know everyone will be ok, but it still isn't much fun to go through.

In spite of all that, I have saved room for a couple of dates.  One is a new guy- we'll call him Tri Guy, and I'm on the fence with my expectations.  I don't know much about him other than that he does triathlons and has two girls.  We spoke briefly on the phone and plan to meet up for drinks this evening.  The second is with Frans...(of the Hans and Frans duo.)  He actually called SEVERAL days ahead to see what my schedule looked like and when I could see him.  How nice and thoughtful.  I kind-of like this guy!  It's funny that there has been a recent string of really athletic guys.  That is such a departure from ones I have dated in the past.  I'm not complaining, and it certainly hasn't kept me from enjoying the finer things in life, but I have made sure to find time for regular runs and gym visits.

So despite the ugly event that has taken place, there are some bright spots to look forward to.  Hopefully there will be stories to share soon!  Oh- and a big THANK YOU to my Papa and all the men and women who have served for our country. Happy Veteran's Day!

Seriously?!

One of my biggest pet peeves in dating is "the texter".  You know that guy....the one who has no problem punching letters, but freezes up when it comes to actually dialing numbers!  Drives. Me. Crazy.  I think it's rude and a little disrespectful.  I totally understand that there are appropriate times for texting: I'm running late, Thinking of you, Hope you're having a nice day.  The following is NOT a good example.

SBITC, (he didn't even spell my real name correctly)
What r u doing tonight?
R u going to be out?
If so I will buy u a drink.
M

Really?!  You can't even take the time to spell out the word you?  Again- drives me crazy. Not only by sending a text, but by sending the text at 5:59 on a Saturday night.  As if I don't already have plans.  Ladies, if a guy doesn't have sense enough to call, and call a couple of days ahead- the answer should always be a polite NO!

Because my life does not JUST revolve around boys....

A couple of years ago I went through a pretty rough break-up.  We'll call him The Professor.  Early on in the relationship we  knew that he would have to eventually move because of his job.  When that time came a year later, he did the right thing and broke up with me.  It didn't feel right at the time, but he really didn't love me and I'm glad he didn't torture me with a long-distance relationship that ultimately wasn't going to go anywhere.  The following weeks were hard- there was plenty of moping and crying involved.  A few weeks later though, I found that I was hardly thinking about it- and before I knew it, I was completely over him.

The reason I mention this is because I never would have been able to move on so quickly if I didn't truly have a life of my own.  This is one of the biggest advantages of being thirty-something!  I work really hard to maintain friendships and stay involved with hobbies and interests that I like. Cookbook club, running Town Lake, volunteering at the Animal Shelter, etc.  These are all things that are so fulfilling, and such a part of who I am.  I really like my life, and I hope that the people I meet recognize this.  I don't need a guy to make it better, rather someone to share in the fun and maybe even teach me a thing or two.

Another one bites the dust....

Poor Hans.  He tried- oh how he tried!  It's just not in the cards, though.  And I didn't even get to eat at Uchi!  The wait was close to two hours and my hungry stomach wasn't having any of that!  So we ended up driving around the corner and ate at South Congress Cafe, another great restaurant.  Just a little tidbit- for a limited time, you get 20% off your total bill Sunday-Wednesday.  It's their attempt to bring in more customers early in the week.  Back to Hans... still think he's a nice guy, but I just didn't feel any connection at all.  The nail in the coffin might have been when he said he rarely eats after 2 pm, that he prefers to drink his dinner instead.  Really?!  I hope he has a nice time in New York!

Speaking of connections, I never really gave any background on D, the guy who sent the rejection letter.  I travel quite a bit for work, and we exchanged emails and phone calls for close to 3 weeks before ever meeting in person.  The first time we spoke on the phone, the conversation lasted for close to an hour- we had so much in common and so much to talk about.  When we finally went on our first date, the attraction was huge.  We had a fabulous dinner, gazing across a candlelit table for hours.  Even our server made a comment about how she had never seen two people look so good together.  I was excited because I hadn't really had strong feelings for anyone in awhile, but I thought there might have been potential for that.  I thought wrong, apparently.  And that happens.  We only met up one other time after that before I received "the letter".  I had a gut feeling it was coming, so it wasn't all that surprising.  That didn't make it any less disappointing though.  I guess why I bring this up is because I feel like he raised the bar a little bit, and I hope I'm not judging others too harshly for not living up to that immediate connection.

Hans and Frans.....Frans and Hans

I've gone back and forth over whether to change the names of the gentlemen I go out with.  I doubt any will ever come across this, but better to be safe than sorry.  What's so funny about my two most recent dates is that their names rhyme.  I was in the car with my parents on Sunday and it cracked me up as they tried to keep the two straight.  The conversation went a little like this:  Dad- "So, Hans is the one with kids?"  Me- "No Dad, that would be Frans."   Dad-"Oh.  And Frans is the attorney?"  Me- "No.  That would be Hans."  Anyway, you get the idea.  I came up with their new monikers after my date last night with Frans because they are both tall and fairly athletic (lucky me, right?!)

This has been a trend in my family for most of my dating history- they often have to come up with nicknames just to keep the guys straight.  There has been Gym John, Chris #2, Dennis the Menace.....Not sure whether either guy will stay around long enough to warrant their new names, but I'm hoping they do.  They are both good examples of going slightly outside my norm and giving them a chance with a date.

Sunday night was my date with Hans- we met up at a new bar Abel's on the Lake with a gorgeous view of Lake Austin.  He is the beefier of the two and has a slight mafioso accent.  This is weird only because he's from New Mexico.  My mom is convinced that he has Mafia ties.  He's smart, successful and not all that bad looking.  I wasn't really sure based on the pictures he posted online, but I was pleasantly surprised.  We have a second date tonight at THE best sushi restaurant in Austin (and quite possibly anywhere.)  Again, lucky me!  He has never been before, and when I mentioned how good it was during our first date, he insisted we go.  Sure.  Twist my arm.  He's leaving for a week-long trip to New York tomorrow, so it will be a nice built-in break from seeing him should things go well on date #2.

Monday night was my date with Frans- we met up at a great wine pub Fions that is fairly quiet and laid back.  Frans is taller (something that's really hard to find these days) and was once a semi-pro triathlete.  At 40 yrs of age, he's still looking pretty darn good!  (Thank you internet for making his race pictures available.) Conversation was easy and he had the cutest smile!   Frans is recently divorced though and has two younger boys- big red flags I would typically stay away from.  Knowing that he is recently single,  I know better than to expect anything more than just a casual date here and there.  But I have tried to relax a little on the kids issue.  I think the dating pool would decrease dramatically if I continue to not be more open minded about that.

Anyway- both dates were casual and fun, and at least one has resulted in a second date!  Frans has my number and I would be happy if he wanted to get together again, but we'll see!  Now I'm just torn between wearing my go-to LBD for dinner tonight, or dressing up my one good pair of jeans.  Any suggestions?

Filling My Funnel

If you haven't read the book "You Lost Him at Hello", stop what you're doing- immediately- and run to the nearest bookstore to grab it.  Any smart single gal needs a good dating bible, and this one is my favorite!  Jess McCann takes a sales approach to dating and Filling Your Funnel is one of my favorite strategies.

Filling Your Funnel simply means that you aren't putting all of your efforts into one single guy at a time, risking things not working out while losing out on potentially good other opportunites.  This is something that I have struggled with tremendously in the past but am quickly finding out how much fun it is putting it to use.  Sure, it's not always easy to find multiple guys at a time, and I certainly have my fair share of dry spells.  The recent rejection letter that I received (in which clearly the guy was incapable of  multi-tasking) has sparked a renewed effort in filling my own funnel again. Online dating, set-ups, even the cute guy in the supplement aisle at the grocery store- take advantage of all opportunities! The important thing to remember is to keep an open mind and just have fun!